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Empowered and Unstoppable: Shattering Gender-Based Limiting Beliefs with Somatic Practices

“Are you sure you can handle that project? It’s quite challenging”, one of your colleagues questions, casting doubt as you volunteered to take on additional responsibilities at work. “I’m not sure if you have the right expertise for that role, my dear” another colleague chimes in.  

Does this scenario sound all too familiar? Sadly, even in 2023, these deeply ingrained gender-based limiting beliefs persist, acting as roadblocks on the path to women’s progress and stifling their full potential. 

In our last blog post, we explored the transformative power of somatics and embodied learning, and the benefits they bring. Today, we dive deep into the challenge of overcoming the limiting beliefs that undermine women’s growth in a professional environment. And here’s the secret weapon we unveil: somatic practices. 

The Persistent Struggles 

It is an unfortunate truth that women continue to face significant barriers solely due to their gender, particularly when they aspire to occupy leadership positions. Demonstrating assertiveness often leads to being unfairly perceived as unlikable or even aggressive. 

Their proposals for process improvement are met with dismissive advice to ‘calm down’ or patronising explanations about why their ideas won’t work—an all-too-familiar occurrence known as ‘mansplaining.’ Additionally, job interviews and promotion discussions become battlegrounds where inappropriate questions about family planning overshadow their qualifications for the role. 

Take, for instance, the discouraging remark my friend received from her manager when she requested a training course to develop herself: “Isn’t it better to focus on your home situation now?”  This occurred two months after her return from maternity leave. 

If you are a woman reading this, I am sure that you, unfortunately, recognise these examples. Whether through personal experiences or stories shared by friends, co-workers, or family members, these examples strike a painful chord for women.

The stereotypes and limiting beliefs about women are not only frustrating, they are hurtful and have a significant impact on women’s mental well-being and self-confidence. 

So, what do we do? Do we just keep our heads down and accept this reality? Do we just shut up and tolerate these stereotypes because then “At least I won’t get criticised because of my gender?”. No, we don’t want that either. 

Breaking Illusions: Beliefs versus Truths 

It’s crucial to recognise that these limiting beliefs are not mere fragile constructs but deeply ingrained assumptions. While they may not represent the truth, their impact on women’s lives cannot be ignored. These beliefs persist within our societal systems, perpetuating the gender pay gap, reinforcing expectations for women to prioritise household responsibilities over career growth, and shaping how women perceive themselves, eroding their confidence and overall well-being. 

When society repeatedly sends the message that women are not deserving or capable, it’s no wonder that some of us begin to internalise these ideas. These societal norms have become so woven into our cultural fabric that we unwittingly absorb them, leading many to develop self-limiting beliefs rooted in these constraining assumptions. 

The Imposter Syndrome Phenomenon 


Now, let’s delve into one of the significant self-limiting beliefs that women often grapple with: the imposter syndrome. Perhaps you can relate to that lingering feeling of being an imposter, even after securing a job or receiving a well-deserved promotion. It’s that nagging thought that somehow you’ve managed to deceive everyone into believing in your competence, while deep down, you fear you lack the necessary knowledge or skills. Here’s the truth: you’re not alone in experiencing this phenomenon. 

The imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern that affects many individuals, where you start to feel like a fraud, regardless of your accomplishments. However, it tends to be particularly prevalent among women who are confronted with the gender-based limiting beliefs in the workplace. This harmful thinking pattern often gives rise to a pervasive sense of self-doubt and a persistent feeling of inadequacy. 

Harnessing the Power of Somatic Practices 


Do you remember our last blog post? We explained that somatic practices pave the way to creating a mind-body connection, enabling you to become more attuned to your physical sensations and their influence on thoughts and emotions. Well, you guessed it: somatic practices are the secret weapon challenging gender-based stereotypes and the feelings of self-doubt they bring. 

Dealing with pent-up stress 

In our pursuit of professional excellence, many have become used to keeping our personal worries to ourselves when entering the workplace. We take our  emotions and we stow them away in the back of our heads, making sure they cannot hinder our professional performance in any way.  

In our society, we have been conditioned to prioritise our cognitive intelligence while neglecting the rich source of wisdom within our own bodies. We have learned to suppress our emotions and hide our vulnerabilities, believing that displaying them in the workplace is a sign of weakness. This is especially true for women; We want to make sure not to provide our colleagues with ANY ammunition that supports women’s supposed emotional frailty. We don’t need to hear any “I TOLD you so’s”. 

But when we let stress build up like that, negative thoughts will grow. How often have all your worries felt so much bigger simply because you were not able to express them? 

What if I told you that tapping into the intelligence of your body—the realm of emotions, sensations, and intuition—could be the key to effectively navigating the challenges that arise in your professional life? 

Let’s consider an example: speaking up and sharing your opinion confidently in meetings. If this proves to be a daunting task, there is a somatic practice that can assist you in reclaiming your voice and taking up space. By engaging in a somatic practice called “centering,” you can connect with your body’s innate wisdom, allowing you to feel grounded, present, and assertive. 

Empowering Confidence 

Somatic practices emphasise and embrace the power and capabilities of our body. Through movement, breathwork or exercises using the body, women can explore and reclaim their power, cultivating a sense of strength, confidence and agency. The engagement with their bodies in such a positive and empowering way, serves as an antidote for women to the impact of hurtful societal norms and stereotypes. 

Amy Cuddy, a prominent voice on the subject, emphasises the critical role of your body and its intelligence when it comes to building confidence in her enlightening TED Talk. Her insights are particularly valuable for women confronting limiting beliefs and the imposter syndrome. 

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are/c  

In summary, somatic practices can serve as a guiding light for women facing workplace challenges every day. Caused by hurtful beliefs that are deeply rooted in our society, impeding women’s growth opportunities and fulfilment, and negatively impacting their mental wellbeing. 


Doors Open invites you to embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment through somatic coaching. In collaboration with Boudewijn Bertsch, a certified somatic coach with a background in evolutionary biology and neurobiology, we have created the Embodied Leadership Growth Programme – an immersive 7-day in-company experience designed explicitly for women navigating gender-based difficulties in the workplace. No more “You’re too emotional for this project”, or “you should gain more experience if you want to get that promotion”. By the use of somatic practices and embodied learning, this programme equips women with innovative and effective solutions to enhance their leadership.  

Want to know more?

Contact us to find out the specifics the Embodied Leadership Growth Programme. Together, we can shatter the glass ceilings, and embrace a future free from the constraints of limiting beliefs! 

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Why you never succeeded in changing your behaviour… and why your BODY has the answer

Do you ever find yourself thinking this? For example when you say yes to your manager asking to take on that extra project while you’re barely make your own deadlines? Or when you had the chance to share your opinion in a meeting but decided to stay silent anyways, even when you did have something to say? We all find ourselves doing these things , going along with decisions we don’t really support, or saying “yes” to things we don’t really want to say yes to. And the only person who suffers from these unwanted behaviors, is us. 

Changing your behavior is a tough process. Once certain habits (good or bad) are rooted in your system, it is very difficult to stay away from that pattern. Behaviors are automatic responses in your brain, almost like reflexes. Like driving a car… when you first learn how to drive a car, you need to consciously think about each action you take. Which pedals to press, checking your mirrors, shifting gears, etc. Once you’ve been driving your car for years on end, you don’t even think about these actions anymore: you just do them. 

Do you want to establish sustainable behavioral change? Join us for the Embodied Leadership Retreat

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Behaviors are created just like this. In response to repeated behaviors, neural pathways are formed in your brain. The more frequently you repeat a certain action, the stronger the neural pathway will become, making it easier for your brain to send the same signal down that pathway in the future. 

As this all sounds a little too science-y, it might be easier to see your brain as a dense forest, intertwined with many different pathways. At first these paths are overgrown and difficult to navigate. It takes a lot of time and effort to make it to the other end, and you might even get lost along the way.

But the more frequently you travel down a certain path, the clearer it becomes. With enough repetition, you’ll know the path like the back of your hand, and it will become easy to follow. 

When we repeatedly engage in certain actions or thoughts, the neural pathways in our brain strengthen and become more efficient, making it easier to engage in those behaviors in the future. Eventually, these pathways become so well-established that the action or thought becomes automatic, like a well-worn trail in that dense forest. 

Just like it is much easier to follow a familiar path in the forest than it is to follow an unfamiliar new one, it is easier for our brains to engage in familiar behaviors than it is to form new ones. 

For example, when you’re nervous for a big meeting and you have a smoking habit, it is much easier to have a quick cigarette beforehand to calm the nerves, rather than trying out a 30-minute meditation session you have never tried before. This is why it is so challenging to change certain behaviors: it is like trying to cut a new path through an overgrown forest. 

But we KNOW this, right?  

We KNOW that changing our behavior is hard. We promise ourselves to do things differently each time. ” This time I will actually say “no” when my colleague asks me to take on a few of his tasks.” But each time we find ourselves in the exact same spot as last time: working hours overtime, thinking to ourselves “If only I had just said “no”…”.  

Why is it so hard for us to break these unwanted behaviors, even when we really really want to? 

Traditionally, when trying to create behavioral change, we focus on intelligence (IQ) and emotion (EQ), and work on these as two separate things. This approach can definitely help you achieve results, but if you really want to make a difference, it won’t be enough.  

That is where somatic practices come into play. 

Somatic practices look at things a little differently. The word ‘somatic’ comes from the ancient Greek ‘Soma’ ( σώμα ), which means body. Somatic theory assumes that you don’t consist of separate parts, but rather that your body, brain and soul are one. And somatic coaching takes your body and its intelligence (BI) as a starting point for creating sustainable change in behavioral patterns. 

For example: remember the last time you had to give a big presentation? You might have known the material by heart (IQ), and you may be passionate enough about the topic to connect with your audience (EQ), but you will still struggle if you’re nervous (BI): your voice will still quaver, your hands will tremble, and you won’t be able to engage your audience as much because of that. 

Your body is much more intelligent than you might think. When looking at the human nervous system , you can see that these neuron connections (the forest pathways we were talking about before), are not only present in the brain, but they are spread out over your whole body. I mean, how often have you had that weird feeling that someone is looking at you? Or the sensation that someone is behind you? 

When you’re under a lot of pressure, like right when you’re about to speak up in an important meeting or before an important presentation, your body is aware of this. You don’t decide to get stressed out, you just are. In these situations you can be fully aware that you’re stressed out and need to calm yourself down. You think to yourself, ‘I know what I want to say’, but it doesn’t seem to help. You’re still trembling, sweating, your voice is all shaky.

Your brain knows that you need to calm down, but your body doesn’t.  

This is why traditional practices – where the mind, emotion, and body are seen as separate elements – don’t work as well as we expect them to when trying to change your behaviour. Somatic coaching, however, still lets the coachee engage in aspects of traditional coaching, but combines it with physical exercises that really make you feel what the different behaviour would be like. This way of learning emphasises the role of the body and the senses in the learning process, instead of solely focusing on intellectual knowledge and information processing.

This approach is called ‘embodied learning’, which recognises that the body plays a crucial role in the way we perceive, process and remember information. 

I think I have made my point very clear that somatic practices and embodied learning are highly beneficial for everyone. It can help you gain the confidence and assertiveness to really tell your boss ‘No’ when you’re asked to take on extra responsibilities when your own work is already piling up. It can improve your communication skills and reduce your anxiety to take up space in important meetings, to help you to finally get your points across.

Do you want to establish sustainable behavioural change? Join us for the Embodied Leadership Retreat

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Doors Open Female hub Suzanne Mau-Asam Somatic Coaching
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Why “this is how I am” isn’t an excuse and the ancient Greeks already knew this

“That’s just the way I am.” Is there anyone in your surroundings that has never said this before? I still need to meet that unique person that hasn’t. Even “that is so typical of Nicole” is said by everyone I know every once in a while.

We often respond in the same way in specific situations. In the case of a setback, one person reacts with anger, the other cries and the third person will withdraw from the situation and will ignore the world around them. The way you react is usually not a conscious choice and also not always how you would hope you would react. Afterwards you think, “if only I had..” But then right after that you also also think, “but that is who I am, and I can’t change anything about it.” Right? No, that is not completely true. In this article I will explain why.

Your reaction is perhaps subconscious and automatic, but it wasn’t always like that. Your response has become automatic over time. In order to understand how this happens, I will use a little bit of neuroscience. Oh and highways and dirt roads.

What do highways and dirt roads have to do with the brain?

The formation of a habit or automatic response in the brain, works by strengthening a connection between neurons. Neurons are brain cells that are all connected with each other, but some connections are stronger than others. You can compare this to highways and dirt roads.

In the beginning villages were connected with each other through small, uneven dirt roads that went through the fields. The road that is taken most often, keeps getting wider and easier to travel on. Slowly this small road changes into a highway. When a highway is created, the dirt roads between the villages are taken less frequently. Because even though the distance might be greater, you’ll get there faster by taking the highway.

The development of automatic behaviour is comparable. The reaction that is shown most often in a certain situation makes this connection between neurons stronger. For example, if you have often experienced that the smell of fresh croissants goes hand in hand with a relaxed and pleasant Sunday morning, a smile will naturally appear on your face when you smell croissants. If you have experienced several times that you can get things done by raising your voice, you will continue to do this more often. After a while you don’t even think about it anymore, you do it automatically.

“This time I will really do it differently”

Great, you now have a bit of a better understanding of how automatic behaviour arises. That the smell of croissants makes you smile is not a problem of course, but other automatic behaviour can stand in the way of yourself and/or others. And that is exactly the type of behaviour that is not easy to change. Have a think about it. How often have you heard yourself say: “this time I will really do it differently.” You start full of good intentions. You keep it up for 1 or 2 weeks, maybe even a few months. But eventually you fall back into your old behaviour. Especially when the pressure is high.

Doors Open Female hub Suzanne Mau-Asam Somatic Coaching 2

That is when somatic coaching can come into play. Traditional coaching is almost always aimed towards IQ (intelligence) and EQ (emotion), and are seen as separate parts. You can definitely achieve good results with this, but it is by far not always enough.

Somatic coaching looks at it differently. The word somatics comes from the Greek word soma, which means ‘the living organism as a whole’. This theory assumes that as a person you do not consist of separate parts, but rather that your body, brain and soul make up one.

One of the characteristics of somatic coaching is that the body is the starting point for a sustainable change in behavior. Take a musician as an example. A pianist can not play well if he is not relaxed. He can know all notes (IQ) and love playing the piano (EQ), but without the third crucial element (SQ) he will not be able to give a fantastic concert.

Connections in your whole body

Somatic coaching assumes that the neuron connections which cause the automatic behaviour, are not only present in the brain but throughout the whole body. Think back to a situation in which you were under a lot of pressure. An important presentation, an appraisal interview or a business deal that almost went south. How did your body feel? Were your shoulders upright or slouching, did you feel your breath quicken, did you have the tendency to cross your arms?

The goal of somatic coaching is to show different behaviour and enabling yourself to show that behaviour even when you’re under pressure or stressed. In a more traditional way of coaching, you brain often understands how to use new or different behaviour but the rest of your nervous system (this visible in your body) does not. Therefore you only tackle one element and that is not sufficient. Moreover, there is more risk of falling back into old behaviour.

This is where somatic coaching comes in. Of course gaining knowledge and insights by talking – just like with traditional coaching – remains important. But this is supported by exercises where you literally have to stand or move, so that you really feel how different behaviour feels. This way you don’t only understand (IQ) the new skill but you also create a different response in your body (SQ).

The construction of new highways

If you look at the metaphor of highways versus dirt roads and you know that neuron connections are not only present in your brain but also in your body, you can see the importance of practicing new behaviour. You are creating a new highway (connection/automatic behaviour).

The first step in somatic coaching is becoming aware of your current posture, movement and response patterns. Which response patterns do you show? You learn to be more in touch with your body. That might sound a bit airy-fairy, but it really isn’t! There are different exercises with which you experience your body’s different reactions. And what that brings up in terms of feeling and emotions. You become aware of the patterns that you have created.

Fake it till you make it?

The importance of how your body and posture can be used to show others that you are, for example, full of confidence – even if you aren’t – is what Amy Cuddy explains in her popular Ted Talk.

An interesting term in somatic coaching and also in this talk by Amy, in my opinion, is power posing: even if you aren’t confidence, in the moment that you do stand or move your body in a confident manner, you automatically also feel more confident. Try it! This is a concrete example of how changing your body also eventually leads to a change in feeling and behaviour.

Who is somatic coaching for?

Somatic coaching is extremely valuable for both your personal as well as professional development. If you answer YES to one or more of the following questions, then somatic coaching is interesting for you.

  • Do you have the feeling that you don’t know which choices to make in your personal or professional life?
  • Do you have lots of dreams or ideas, but do you not take action to execute them or make them a reality?
  • Do you want more self-confidence?
  • Do you want to be more assertive?
  • Do you experience (too much) stress and do you want to know how to decrease that?
  • Do you want to show better leadership within your company?
  • Do you want your team to improve performance or collaborate better?

Want to know more?

Do you want to know more about somatic coaching? Contact us! For more information about coaching by Doors Open, have a look at our page about somatic coaching.

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Internship at the Doors Open and Doors Open Female Hub

Doors Open and Doors Open Female Hub are looking for new interns. We have space for at least two new interns. Starting date can be discussed. You can do both your practical and graduate/management internship with us.

Do you want to:

  • Be part of an amazing team, located in an inspiring office with other female professionals and entrepreneurs?
  • Learn all the ins and outs of learning and development, coaching, talent management, leadership development and teambuilding? And/or about developing and creating content for the website, social media and newsletters?
  • Work one-on-one with and learn from Suzanne Mau-Asam, founder and owner of a successful Learning and Development company?
  • Support Suzanne Mau-Asam in developing and preparing training sessions, e-learning programs, masterclasses and coaching sessions for different clients?
  • Contribute to the development of Doors Open and Doors Open Female Hub?
  • Join masterclasses and training sessions to develop your own knowledge and to learn about Learning & Development?
  • Have the possibility to work on your own thesis/research?

And are you:

  • A second, third, or fourth year HBO/WO student studying Human Resource Management, Psychology, Hospitality Management, Economics, Entrepreneurship, Event Management, Marketing & Communications, or a similar study?
  • Don’t mind working hard? This is not an internship where you only make coffees (even though we do have great coffee…) or only sit behind your laptop doing research.
  • Not afraid of a challenge? We have high expectations and you will get some challenging projects to work on.
  • Tech-savvy? We do a lot of work online for Doors Open and Doors Open Female Hub, so you will need to quickly understand and be able to work with different programs.
  • Able to handle stress well and are you accurate in your work?
  • Fluent in both Dutch and English?
  • Living in the area of The Hague?
  • Available for a full-time internship of about 5 months?

Then we are looking for you! We have (date to be discussed) space for two interns:

1. Learning & Development

As a Learning & Development intern, you will get the opportunity to learn all the ins and outs about how people bring out the best in themselves. You will support Suzanne Mau-Asam in developing and preparing training sessions, masterclasses, and coaching sessions that will be held at Doors Open in the Javastraat or on-site and you can also join a lot of the training sessions and masterclasses yourself. You will help think along with us about the content of programs, create workbooks for participants, and make sure that all practical matters surrounding Doors Open and Doors Open Female Hub are arranged down to the last detail. 

During your internship, you will be guided by Suzanne Mau-Asam yourself. At the start of your internship, you will set learning goals together. You will receive a personality profile and 1-on-1 coaching every two weeks based on your personal development plan.

2. Marketing

As a Marketing intern, you ensure that everyone knows why Doors Open and Doors Open Female Hub are the place to be if you want to get the best out of yourself. You develop content for the website, social media and newsletter and prepare it for publication. You collect and register leads and maintain the CRM system. You think along about the marketing strategy, and you support the development of marketing materials such as flyers, posters and goodie bags for events. Together with Suzanne and the Learning & Development intern, you make sure that everything runs smoothly during events.

During your internship, you will be guided by Suzanne Mau-Asam yourself. At the start of your internship, you will set learning goals together. You will receive a personality profile and 1-on-1 coaching every two weeks based on your personal development plan.

Interested?

Are you interested in one of the internship descriptions above? Send your CV and motivation letter to info@doors-open.nl  “Internship Application.”

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Why we don’t achieve our goals – and 4 questions to help you become successful

I caught up with an old classmate last week. The same classmate I spoke to last year about our goals.

A year ago she told me: “I’m going to do things completely different this year! I have decided to finally start my own business.” She couldn’t wait to get started and with a twinkle in her eye, she told me about her ideas of starting her own webshop for children’s clothing. At the time I had just taken a leap of faith and become a full-time entrepreneur with Doors Open, and I had just opened the doors of Doors Open Female Hub. So I completely understood her enthusiasm.

When I asked her this year how her webshop was going, she told me that she hadn’t gotten round to it. “But this year I’m really planning to get it up and running!”

My old classmate is a telling example. Because even though Instagram is full of successful, laughing goal-getters, the reality is that goals more often than not end up in the trash.

Why does this happen? And more importantly, what can you do about it? I notice during my coaching sessions and when setting my own goals for the year that there are 4 questions that are essential to answer if you want to achieve your goals successfully.

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#1 What is my  “why”?

When setting goals, we often stay on the surface too much. We only look at the outcome, at the action and not at the underlying motivation.

“I want to go to the gym more often this year” is a popular example. The gym is not a goal in itself. The goal is to feel fitter and healthier and we think that we can achieve this by going to the gym.

A turnover of € 10,000 per month is not an objective in itself. The goal is to create financial security and we think we can achieve this by a turnover of € 10,000 per month.

We often make the mistake of seeing the steps we need to take as the ultimate goal rather than looking at the underlying motivation. Why do you want to go to the gym more often? Why do you want that turnover of € 10,000 per month? Why do you want to start your own business?

#2 How do I make it concrete?

From your “why” you will have to take concrete steps. Motvation alone is not enough. Amongst other things, I wanted to have freedom and be able to make choices. That was my underlying motivation to become a full-time entrepreneur with Doors Open and Doors Open Female Hub. But how do I make that concrete? I want to feel fitter and healthier, that is my underlying motivation. But how do I make that concrete?

In this article they cite a study in which people who want to feel fitter and healthier (motivation) and therefore go to the gym (action) increase their chances of successfully achieving this goal by one simple trick:

  • They write down where and when they start exercising.

Non-commitment is a pitfall, which is why so many goals end up in the trash. By making it really concrete, making a plan of action, you will see that the chances of success increase significantly. When I had the idea of Doors Open Female Hub, I made a concrete plan of action, including a timeline. I go to the gym twice a week at an agreed time. There’s a reason that personal trainers are so popular. You can’t stay in bed if you know that someone is waiting for you on Tuesday morning at 08.00.

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#3 What stops me?

In the ten years that I have been working as Learning & Development expert and coach, I regularly meet people who exactly know what their underlying motivation is. They know exactly what they want. They also know in detail how to get there, what steps are needed. And yet they do not succeed in actually taking action.

This often has to do with fears. We are afraid that we do not see the desired result, we’re afraid we can’t actually do it. We see worst-case scenarios in which everything goes completely wrong. And these fears lead to a certain type of behaviour that prevents us from achieving our goals.

Tim Ferriss argues in his TedTalk that you should define your fears instead of your goals.

I also dedicate time to fear in my coaching sessions and in my masterclass  “From Dreams to Actions.” By holding up a mirror and analysing which fears stop you and which behaviour you exhibit, you will also learn what you can do to overcome your fears.

#4 I’ve achieved my goal. How do I feel?

Especially in January we tend to look ahead. What do I want to achieve this year? But it’s just as important to look back and reflect. If we do not reach our goal, reflecting helps us in finding out why it did not work. But even if you do achieve your goal, it is important to reflect. I always try to celebrate goals, no matter how small they are. I also take a moment to think: “I have achieved my goal. What am I feeling now?” Suppose you have achieved your target of € 10,000 per month, but the feeling of certainty (the underlying motivation) is not there. Then you know that money isn’t what offers you security.

Reflection is essential to prevent us from pursuing the wrong goals and, in spite of achieving the goals, not feeling the way we wanted to feel. So take the time to reflect regularly, before you proceed to the next action.

I hope that I will speak to my old classmate again next year and that she has managed to launch her web shop. And I am very curious about how she will feel.

What goals have you set and how are they going?

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My Best Mistake – Cees Juffermans

The best mistake of: Cees Juffermans

“I remember thinking: “what am I supposed to do now?” This was my dream. This was what I had been dreaming about as a young boy. And that one chance was gone because of my own stupid mistake.”

Sometimes we are too afraid of making mistakes, that out of fear for the possible consequences, we don’t take any action.  Afraid to fail, afraid about what our environment thinks about it, afraid that it doesn’t fit in our “Instagrammable perfect life”…

Which is such a shame, because making mistakes is THE way to learn and develop yourself. That is why we at Doors Open celebrate making mistakes! Every month we interview entrepreneurs, leaders, professional athletes… People who, just like you, have gotten to where they are by failing and standing up again.They have told us about their best mistake: a mistake which has taught them a lot and has helped them greatly in their development.

In this edition:

Cees Juffermans

Residence: Stompwijk

Profession: former olympic athlete, Chief Marketing Officer at the Invictus Games 2020.

On 12 February 2006 Cees Juffermans has the chance to write history in Dutch sports during the Olympic games in Turin. He was in the semi-finals of the 1500 meters short track. The final in sight, chance of winning a medal, never before has a Dutch shottracker gotten so far. Although in that moment the sport was relatively unknown in the Netherlands, on this sunday all of a sudden Cees became known worldwide. But not the way he was hoping he would…

Before the lenses of hundreds of cameras, thousands of spectators in the stadium and millions of viewers on TV, the Stompwijker was taken down by another skater in the last curve. In short track this means an automatic free pass to the next round. The finals. But it only counts if you complete the full round. And that is what Cees doesn’t do. Just a few meters before the finish he steps off the ice. In sports, this is counted as resignation, as a “did not finish”. Gone was his spot in the final, the chance of winning a medal. This mistake makes Cees fall back to 18th place in the final ranking and shatters his childhood dream.

What did you do when you realized what had happened?

“I only realized what has happened when I was in the changing room. I know the rules. Even worse: during my training the rules where always emphasized.  Whatever happens, always make sure you cross the finish line. I have no clue why I stepped off the ice early. I must have had a complete black-out.”

As a top athlete you are certainly not alone, you have a whole team around you. Even so Cees does not blame anyone else but himself. “Of course I can think “why did nobody warn me that I had to finish the race in that moment?” But in the end the responsibility lies on my shoulders. Therefore, shortly after my mistake I walked up to the media and made this clear.”

What did you learn from this incident?

“A lot. I still make mistakes, every day. We all do. But this is one of those mistakes you won’t ever forget. It sounds crazy, but it has done a lot for me. It made me realize that so often we are focused on the end result, even though the process to get there might be way more important than the goal itself. If you have dreams, chase them. Don’t let anyone stop you. And yes, at one point you will fall flat on your face. In my case literally. So what? You get up again. The world is not going to end.”

“Mistakes only make you stronger. Suddenly I was standing in the spotlight, everyone had an opinion. I chose to put the negative critics aside.”

It made me realize that people close to you,  do not judge you for the mistakes you make. The negative reactions were primarily from people that were not as close to me. Not only when I made this mistake by the way. Being a professional athlete can be pretty lonesome. When others my age met at the bar during the weekends, I was training extremely hard. Of course people had their own thoughts on this, but I chose not to listen to them. That is also what I really want to advise others: don’t let what others might think or say about you influence you. It is YOUR dream, and they are YOUR choices. Do what you love and remember what you are doing it for. What is the reason you get up every day? Even if you make mistakes, don’t give up and try to do it a little bit better than yesterday.”

What did you change after this mistake?

“I started looking at my athletic career differently, as a whole, instead of that one goal alone. I might not have won an Olympic medal, but I still feel like I got everything I could have out of my dream. And I am still benefiting from the experiences I had and the network I built in those years. I have also changed my perspective about what is really important to me. What do I want to “leave behind”? How can I make a change in society? The misstep in Turin really made me think. How terrible would it be if you look back on your career and you realize that you’ve only done things that others expected you to do, instead of chasing your own dreams?”

Do you want to share your best mistake? Share it to info@doors-open.nl! Maybe you are the next feature on our blog!

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My Best Mistake – Suzanne Mau-Asam

The best mistake of: Suzanne Mau-Asam

“My gut feeling said: don’t do this. I ignored it. Afterwards it turned out that my feeling was right.”

Sometimes we are too afraid of making mistakes, that out of fear for the possible consequences, we don’t take any action.  Afraid to fail, afraid about what our environment thinks about it, afraid that it doesn’t fit in our “Instagrammable perfect life”…

Which is such a shame, because making mistakes is THE way to learn and develop yourself. That is why we at Doors Open celebrate making mistakes! Every month we interview entrepreneurs, leaders, professional athletes… People who, just like you, have gotten to where they are by failing and standing up again. They share their best mistake: a mistake which has taught them a lot and has helped them greatly in their development.

In this edition

Suzanne Mau-Asam

Residence: The Hague

Profession: Founder and owner of Doors Open (Learning & Development company) and Doors Open Female Hub (coworking & co-learning for female entrepreneurs)

Suzanne Mau-Asam

What is your best mistake?

“In January 2018, next to Doors Open, I opened the Female Hub. That was quite some work: I had to search for a suitable location, this needed to be renovated and marketing needed to start running. And all this in 3 months time and ‘in between all the companies’, as I also continued with Doors Open giving leadership trainings, Learning & Development advices and team building sessions. As I also work a lot on my own development, my plan was to travel to California for a training to become a somatic coach at the Strozzi Institute. But this collided with the date of the opening and the first weeks of the Female Hub. Hence I needed operational support. Someone who could run the place while I was gone. Via a friend of mine I got a tip for someone that was ‘was really good’.”

“I lost revenue and additional costs incurred because of this. I ended the cooperation, but obviously was not able to catch up for the lost weeks.”

“So I had an interview with this freelancer. My gut feeling said ‘Suzanne, you should not do this. You are not on the same page. I am sure she cannot deliver what you need’. I ignored the feeling, tried to rationalize it. Certainly I can trust my friend’s opinion, right? And even more importantly: I needed someone, and didn’t have enough time to find an alternative.

The uncomfortable feeling stayed. When I handed over the keys of the Female Hub I was still not 100% convinced that this was the right decision. Still, I got on the plane. Again I tried to let my reasoning prevail. ‘You can call from the US, Skype, e-mail and keep control of what is going on in the Hub’.

When I got back from the US however, it turned out that I should have listened to my gut feeling. Tasks were not done according to the instructions and the quality level was far from what I and my partners would have expected. I lost revenue and additional costs incurred because of this. I ended the cooperation, but obviously was not able to catch up for the lost weeks that I was absent.”

“It is scientifically proven that the front part of your brain works less well when you are under pressure.”

What did you learn from this?

“Three important lessons. Firstly, the fact that someone is you friend does not necessarily mean that he or she has the same vision in business matters. Business relations are very different from friendships. It is important to be aware of this and to keep things separate. That does not mean that you can never work together with friends. But you do have to make sure that you are on the same page when it comes to entrepreneurship and doing business. I think that is one of the reasons why I enjoy working with people who have, like me, studied at Hotelschool. I feel like they have the same way of thinking and working. You really don’t always have to agree on everything, but you have to be on the same page regarding the most important topics. Within these topics your opinions and insights can still differ.

Secondly, thanks to this situation I was once more confronted with the fact that it is so  important to listen to your gut feeling. Sure, big data, analysis of statistics, technology, it’s all important to companies. I also set targets for my business, I analyse the “hard” facts, but in the end I think that ‘doing things by feeling’ is just as important. That feeling is there for a reason. This regularly goes unnoticed in our society, which is a shame.

Finally this mistake made me realise how important it is to take a short break, when you are stressed. It is scientifically proven that the front part of your brain works less well when you are under pressure. This leads to a higher chance of making the wrong decisions. It can really help to “sleep on it” for a night to see things from an new perspective.”

Was there an alternative which could have prevented you from making this mistake?

“My alternative was, to postpone the opening of the Female Hub. This would have allowed me to take a calm decision and I could have chosen for a different partner. I did however really want to let the opening go on. Looking back, I don’t think I would have done it differently.”

What have you been doing differently after this mistake?

“I am handling my feelings more consciously. At work I increasingly use somatics techniques. In contrast to more traditional methods, where the IQ (intelligence) and EQ (emotions) are seen as separate, this theory assumes that humans do not consist of separate parts, but that body, brain and soul are one.

Somatics techniques help you to rely on your feelings more consciously, which can be very valuable both for your private and professional life. It teaches you to reflect continuously: what do I feel and why do I feel this? It also helps you to not always make choices à la minute. There is no need to do so. Unless it is a matter of life and death, for example if there is a house on fire.

I cannot really say I am happy that I have made this mistake, but I have learned a lot from it. And that’s what is going to help me in my further development!

Do you want to share your best mistake? Share it to info@doors-open.nl! Maybe you are the next feature on our blog!

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How do you build a successful virtual team?

The growth of virtual teams (also known as distributed or remote teams) is remarkable. It is no longer uncommon to work with colleagues who are located on the other side of the world. From quick-growing start-ups and a network of digital nomads to great multinationals, more and more teams are geographically spread over the whole world. And that brings challenges when it comes to building a team.

In February, Doors Open visited Norway, where Suzanne mentored a newly created project team consisting of 10 different nationalities, coming from 6 different organizations and spread over 4 countries, for the start of a new project.

A team like this comes with challenges. Although teams that are geographically located in the same place are also not always easy to manage either, virtual teams differ on 3 aspects:

Tips how to build a virtual team

1 – Complexity

Virtual teams are more complex in creation in comparison to teams that work in the same location. Language barriers, cultural differences, other backgrounds, different working times and irregular access to technology and communication platforms, make working as a virtual team a big(ger) challenge

2 – Invisibility

“Yes, we agreed on this at the coffee corner” or “We brainstormed a new project during the after-work drinks”.  Physical proximity makes working together easier in many ways. There are even researches which show that if you are more than 30 metres apart from the other, the collaboration becomes more difficult.

3 – Broken and complicated communication

A great deal of our communication has nothing to do with what we say.

Moreover, when it comes to face-to-face communication, 93% of what we communicate is non-verbal.

Without the face-to-face contact, many virtual teams are completely reliant on verbal communication. We don’t have anything other than words. Even in audio-conferences 50% of what is said, is lost. This leads to a higher risk of misunderstandings and incomprehension. Especially if the different cultures and language barriers are added to this.

How do you make sure , with all these additional challenges, that a team which is spread all over the world still functions well? These are our 10 tips:

1 – Ensure that there is a shared vision

In every team, virtual or not, a shared vision is crucial. Why are we working on this project every single day? What is our goal? Therefore, it is no surprise that the lack of common interest is 1 of 5 of the most important reasons why teams – distribuive or not – fail.

2 – Create trust

In virtual teams, trust is even more important than in physical teams. A very important prerequisite for trust is acquaintance. Make sure that the team members get to know each other and the team. If possible, start off face-to-face and then move towards becoming a virtual team. Make sure that you create a feedback-culture (see point 6 on this list) and that promises are being fulfilled. Often it works well if you first let your team members fulfil small and clear tasks. This will help build trust gradually.

3 – Create a “Way we work” document together

Many virtual teams fail because the “Way we work” is not carried out by everyone. When the virtual team starts, let the team members contribute and create a “Way we work” document, that is based on 3 pillars: trust, shared understanding and communication.

Capture important agreements in this document, such as: When are we available? Do we prefer to communicate by e-mail or via Skype? Which platform do we choose as most important way to communicate? How and what do we communicate during a meeting, and what outside of the meeting? In which language do we communicate? Let the team members express their preferences and take this to build on a way of collaboration that works for and is carried out by everyone.

4 – Don’t underestimate (cultural) differences!

“Non-native” speakers might tend to hold their opinions back during meetings, because they might feel uncomfortable. Are you in charge of facilitating a virtual meeting? If so, try to facilitate participation as much as possible. More importantly, do not go with the “silence shows consent” principle and be aware that different cultures express themselves differently. Ask for confirmation, if something that is (not) said really is meant that way in reality. That way you reduce the risk of misunderstandings like the one below:

Cultural differences in a team

5 – Create routine

Keep communicating with all team members frequently. For example, after weekly video calls.

6 – Ask for feedback – and explain what you are doing

Due to the lack of face-to-face communication, the chance of misunderstandings and miscommunication is much bigger. That is why asking for feedback is even more important in a virtual team than in a non-virtual team. Don’t make assumptions but ask for a concrete response. During our session in Norway, the team members had to do an exercise where they had to work together without seeing each other. It is surprising how quickly you work past each other. Feedback and clear communication are essential for virtual teams.

Are you curious how you can create an effective and efficient feedback culture? Contact us, we are happy to tell you everything about it!

7 – Use the right tools for important information

Working virtually creates a great risk that important information gets spread over the (whether or not it’s private) computers of team members. Make sure this information is accessible for every member in a secured and centralized way. This way you can avoid wasting time.

8 – Minimize the use of e-mails

This sounds contrasting, because how are you supposed to communicate with a team if you only have digital contact? The problem is, that many virtual teams tend to send every e-mail to everyone, which leads to an overload of information. Only send the e-mail to those colleagues who are directly concerned with the question. Do you need a quick response? In that case you can choose a chat program where you can directly answer questions.

9 – Shared responsibility is no responsibility

Clearly define and communicate who is responsible for which tasks in the team. As the leader, arrange frequent feedback sessions and remind people of their responsibilities.

Doors Open - Blog - Hoe bouw je een goed virtueel team

10 – Celebrate successes and milestones

Just like in teams where the members are geographically situated in the same location, celebrating successes is equally important to virtual teams. This keeps the motivation up.

Do you have tips that you use with your virtual team? Let us know in the comments below. Would you like to work with Doors Open to build a successful virtual team? Contact us, we are happy to have a cup of coffee with you. Via Skype, or on location.

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Bye boss, I quit

Monday morning. The delicious aroma of your first cup of coffee greets you. You open your laptop. Then you hear a soft knock on your open door. You look up and there he is. Your best team member. Your superstar. You hired him 5 months ago. “Do you have a minute?” he asks with a serious look on his face. Half an hour later, completely in shock, you take a sip of your now cold coffee. You don’t understand. How did you not see this coming?  

Every manager has had to deal with it: employees that quit. It’s part of the job. It’s actually good for a company when people leave. It makes room for new people. Fresh ideas, innovation, and different points of view. But what if your top employees leave one after the other? Or if employees that started 6 months ago already leave? That’s a different story.

Why do employees quit?

Doors Open - Onboarding - zorg dat nieuwe medewerkers blijven

There are very few employees who just up and leave from one day to the next. Days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years precede. This means that your company also has days, weeks, months and sometimes even years to prevent this. So why is it that retaining good employees is so difficult?

More than 10 years of experience within small and large organisations has shown that there are a lot of different reasons:

Poor leadership

“People don’t leave a bad job. They leave bad leaders.” We hear this frequently. And it’s true. Good leaders are able to make their people grow, to help them bring out the best in themselves. Poor leaders, on the other hand, manage to turn motivated, hardworking employees into pale, uninspired robots that count down the minutes until they can go home and that use their lunch breaks to scroll through vacancies for a better alternative. 

Research done by LinkedIn showed that 41% of people named poor management as a reason for accepting another job.

Management is not about being there for a couple of important moments. You just aren’t going to cut it with a performance interview, an appraisal interview and an end-of-year bonus. Employees aren’t machines. Invest time in them. Get to know them. Know what motivates them. Good leadership can make or break the retention of valuable employees.

There is no challenge

Ongemotiveerde medewerker - Doors OpenDo you know what keeps your employees inspired? What challenges them? This is definitely not the same for everyone. As surprising as it may sound, not every team member is looking for a promotion. Not everyone dreams of being in a leadership role themselves. And that’s ok. It’s important that every employee gets the chance to develop in his/her own way. Whether that’s through a promotion or a new challenge within the current position. A good Learning & Development programma is essential for this. 

There is not a good onboarding programme

Did you know that 20% of employees leave the company within 45 days? And that no less than 1 out of 3 people leaves within the first year?

A high turnover rate is incredibly expensive. Replacing an employee costs 50-150% of an annual salary. Additionally, the constant change of employees causes demotivation among the remaining team members. Because how do you form a good team if there’s constantly new faces?

Doors Open - Onboarding programma voor nieuwe medewerkers

A programme for new employees (also called an onboarding programme) makes the difference. And no, this isn’t about “you can get your coffee here and here’s the printer.” An onboarding programme ensures that a successful candidate turns into a successful employee within 90 days by showing them the culture of the organisation and by offering them a future perspective. By setting goals, clarifying expectations and creating a personal development plan.

Investing in a good onboarding programme reduces staff turnover by as much as 54%.

What do you think? Shall we have a cup of coffee together to talk about your staff retention? I promise you your coffee won’t get cold!

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